Why I say Uhm, Ah, and repeat certain words multiple times

Many of my faithful fans have written in to ask my why I often fill up empty audio space with Uhhhmmmm’s, Ah’s, or interrupt people by repeating words multiple times. i.e

“And, And And……..”

“I, I ,I”

“No, no, no”

The reason for this is because I cannot have anybody else talking. I cannot give up the vocal podium, as in doing so, it may allow someone to interject and perform the dreadful sin of asking me for dox or to explain other things that I may have said. So I fill up every bit of audio space that I can with primeval noises, yelling at my kids, laughing uncontrollably like the mad woman that I am, or I repeat certain words or phrases until I can think of what to say next.

It is all about control. It is all about power. It is all about trying not to be discovered that I am a bat-shit insane woman who’s tinfoil theories cannot hold up to scrutiny. So I cast the spell of verbal diarrhoea.

It is my opinion™ that Voltaire was wrong when he said that people only listen to 10% of what someone who speaks 90% of the time has to say, while they listen to 90% of what someone who speaks 10% of the time has to say.

So, so, so, in closing, uhm, I, I, uhm would, I would, I would like to like to say that in closing, I, uhm, JOSHUA, JOSHUA, NOW YOU PUT THAT DOWN!, uhm, oh, yeah, uhm, No, no, no, yes, yes, I, I, I, would like to say, uhm, IM BEING PACKETED! I, I, I, Oh, Ahahahahahahahahaha! Hshshshshs! Um! Yah! No! Yeah!